Growing Old Pains

When did I wake up one day and all of my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends? It kind of feels like when I was in the fifth grade and would get jealous of my best friend hanging out with my other best friend. I knew it made each friend happy, but the jealousy always prevailed and ended up with me lashing out and throwing some hurtful words around. Of course we got over it after Alli's "Vanessa" made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without the crust, but I still remember that feeling. Of course everyone says, "It's so much work. Be glad you don't have to look across the dinner table at THAT every evening." But if that were really true, then why would we feel like something is missing? Why would we try to fill that something with something else? Why wouldn't we just move that hope out of our minds and be content with our pets? I admit, my cat makes me very happy, but he doesn't replace the late night whispered chats. Chats about great important things, hopes and dreams, or just about something that you found hilarious that only he would get. Laughter. That's what I'm missing. I do a pretty good job of making myself laugh, but I long for that rush of laughing so hard you can't breathe. Of having someone make everyday mundane hard life seem lighter. I try to seem tough, but at the end of the day of a hard work week (and it is ONLY TUESDAY), I would give anything to be talking to someone next to me about nothing instead of pouring my heart out to strangers about something.