SMASHED open

Does anyone know how I could get to be famous by blogging? I mean, isn't it the same thing as Carrie Bradshaw having an article in the "Star" except that it is not 1997? Actually, I would probably be OK with just getting paid. I mean, I saw this Oprah once where this lady got on there for writing a book about her divorce called "Broken Open". Really lady? A divorce? Come on. You got nothing on my last two years. It would probably get filed in the FICTION section because no one would believe it. If anyone is interested in publishing: let me know. It will include all of the hottest things right now (keep in mind that this is in no particular order of events): crazy Southern families, love, break-ups, half-way houses, 23 year old boys, a party that took place on a roof in the Virginia mountains that involved me singing every word to Shoop, two gay dudes, two lovers, one whiskey drinking fool in a BMW listening to Dolly Parton while on the way to spend some time at a "retreat" (you know-the one like Lindsay Lohan's). Broken Open? Ha. More like Smashed Open, a memoir by Erin Harvey.